Monday, November 28, 2005

Selfish Bitch

It's been brought to my attention (and rightly so) that I'm a selfish bitch at times. I'm constantly thinking about what I don't have (not so much material-wise as much as attention-wise) and not being grateful enough for what I do have.

I have great friends. I have a loving family. I have a new fiance. I have a job with great benefits. I have good health. I have a warm place to live and food in my cupboards. I'm not having to hock my first child to pay off debts. I have a lot.

If I could just remember that . . .

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Odd Timing

A life of contradictions is mine. About a year ago, I was struggling with my health and facing some difficult decisions. Everyone else I knew was happy and content. No one to listen and empathize with my struggles.

Today, everyone around me seems to be struggling. I am happier than I have been in a long time. I have good struggles to face. No one to listen and share my joy with.

I'm missing people who are in the same place (emotionally) as me today.

I just want someone to laugh with.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

By The Way . . .

In case any of you were wondering, Brad and I have set a definite date: September 16, 2006. I like the sound of that, don't you?

Monday, November 14, 2005

A Woman's Domain

There's a reason God made men the way they are: to remind women to keep their "domains" theirs.

Typically, men don't get that much into wedding planning. They take care of honeymoon information and a bachelor party, and that's about it. The wedding ceremony and reception is typically a the bride's responsibility and we relish it.

I wish my fiance were like that.

Instead, I was annoyed, pestered, and bothered by a male wedding planner sidekick all weekend.

It's my day, dang it, and I SHALL be the Queen!

Queens don't have sidekicks. Henceforth, all other plans that are connected to MY wedding shall be solely decided by me and me alone.

Democracy - farewell. Welcome your new Monarch.

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

Local Color

Just about everyone I know from, well, any state above Virginia, are in awe and praise of fall foliage. The local "color" of the state has changed from green to vibrant reds, yellows and oranges. Fall always was a gorgeous, though short, time of year. I remember it well and sometimes miss it.

Currently, I don't miss that local color. I miss the local "color" of big Northern cities.

I was walking down a side street today at lunch, and in spite of the person wearing a tank top and shorts jumping rope on the sidewalk, I was momentarily struck by how much the street reminded me of New York. Not Broadway, but a small neighborhood street, like something you'd see on the West Side. It had small, local shops with nondescript signs, but each one had a glass front where people could sit and watch passerby. There was some litter on the street ( a far cry from our meticulously maintained Main St.) and homemade signs plastered higgldy-piggldy all over. I just had a moment.

Later I read a friend's blog who is in New York, and I felt a jealous pang. I wanted to be there in the hustle and bustle and 24-7 excitement. I wanted to be where unique people sit in unique shops with unique food. I wanted to be in a memory.

I love my current home city and I wouldn't trade it for the world. But sometimes, a girl can't help but long for a change of scenery.